Baby It Was Cold Outside This Morning But Now It’s Actually Pretty Warm Please Don’t Touch Me I’m Sweating:
A Florida Song
Behold, the one true Supreme.
I only want to wear underwear and a crown all day
22 TREND MAN HATE ON THE LADY HE S GONNA DO A SEX
1. RED LIPSTICK. THATS NOT THE COLOR LIPS ARE!!! THEY SHOULD BE PINK LIKE A VUVLVA, WHICH I LIKE, I’M A HETEROSEXUAL MAN. I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL.
2. PANTS THATS PANTS TOO TIGHT!!! I LIKE ONLY SILK GOWNS WOVEN WITH REAL DIAMONDS WORN OVER PANNIER TOO BROAD TO ALLOW YOU TO PASS THROUGH DOORWAYS LESS THAN SIX FEET IN WIDTH. THIS SHOWS A MAN YOU CAN AFFORD TO KEEP HIM IN THE FAIRY TALE SPLENDOR HES ALWAYS DREAMED OF RETIRING IN.
3. A HAT WHICH MAN DONT WANT ON THERE!!!! DO YOU HAVE TOO MSANY EYES? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?? PLEASE DO NOT DECEIVE ME, LADIES, I AM VERY YOUNG, I AM SOFT
4. CENTIPEDES, PLEASR STOP POURING CENTIPEDES AND SCORPIONS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND EYES WHEN YOU SPEAK ARCANE HELL-TONGUES TO ME WHEN YOU VISIT MY BEDSIDE IN THE DEAD OF THE MOONLESS NIGHT
lotr AU where everything is exactly the same except the ring looks like this:
"Helga’s a blonde, like her mother and sister, with her hair in pigtails and a thick black unibrow. Every day she wears a pink dress, which matches her huge pink bow which alights her dainty head. Her room is full of frills and pink hearts and a happy doll very similar to Raggedy Ann. Just from these simple descriptors, one would assume that Helga would be a sweet as pie, all American girl. That’s her sister, Olga. Helga, on the other hand, is a true tomboy. Occasionally violent but a born leader, Helga makes herself known amongst the 4th graders to be the one kid you do NOT want to mess with. However, as her mild-mannered half-Japanese best friend Phoebe knows and understands well, there is a lot of tenderness in Helga. While being tough, she’s rarely mean for the sake of being mean. She doesn’t steal, she doesn’t cheat and doesn’t lie about anything except Arnold. […]
Helga is a well-crafted individual and shows just how NOT to judge a book by its cover. Just because someone is a girl, wears pink, or wears dresses doesn’t mean anything one way or the other and this back story is significant to how we consider Helga within feminism. Helga does not love Arnold because that’s what girls do; she loves him because he showed her kindness. She loves him obsessively because he continues to show her kindness even if she tortures him. However, due to the fact that she does not want to become the butt of anyone’s jokes, she maintains this iron-clad reputation of the tough leader and keeps her love hidden from everyone; that one moment of swooning at 3 years old was seen as weakness. This is a girl who makes her own decisions, does things on her own terms and refuses to conform to anyone’s expectations”. x
i miss you ontd_extreme. these were made 3 YEARS AGO. 3 YEARS AGO!!!! i don’t even have a livejournal anymore..
"Superheroes live in a world of good and evil, and she’s far more complex than a superhero. She’s been compromised. She’s been subjugated. She’s been marginalized. She’s been swept into the gutter and she’s had a part of it. She dresses like trash because she’s somebody who has been betrayed and hurt so badly, by forces beyond her control, that she’s just decided to be refuse."
it takes 237 muscles to fake an orgasm but 15 to say “it’s called a clitoris and it’s right here”